Monday, September 17, 2007

OK, Jen... you're right. I haven't been blogging much about being pregnant. Know why? I'm having a hard time admitting to myself (and anyone else for that matter) that I do not love being pregnant. In fact, sometimes I don't even like it. (OK, a lot of times.) Now that is not to say that I am not thrilled beyond words at the thought of being a mommy. Those of you who know me well know that I've been looking forward to this for so long. And maybe it's because I've been looking forward to this for so long that I often find myself feeling disappointed that I'm not just enjoying every single minute of this pregnancy.

Yes, feeling the baby move is beyond wonderful and I do enjoy that every single time. Yes, wearing the maternity clothes people have so generously given me (and the ones I've bought for myself too) is fun. But you know all of those annoying pregnancy side effects you read about? Yeah...I've had almost every single one of them. And mostly I've not blogged about too many of them because who wants to actually read that I have really bad mood swings, horrible gas, hemorrhoids and the worst case of all-the-time indigestion and acid reflex imaginable. Sounds like fun blog reading, no? Just trying not to fill my blog with so much negative stuff.

But that's not to say that I am totally miserable either. I do enjoy when people ask me when I'm due and I get to tell them all about when my due date is, yes this is my first, it's a boy, etc, etc. And people are incredibly nice to pregnant ladies. Everywhere I go people are falling all over themselves to help me, give me things or just generally look out for me. And who could not love that. Sometimes it's a little weird when it's coming from total strangers, but it's still nice.

I do have the stroller and carseat all ready and the diaper bag packed and a list of things I'm going to pack in my bag when it gets closer to time to go. So I'm feeling pretty prepared. I thought about going today to get my carseat checked out and make sure it's in right but it feels WAY too early for that. (One of my books say you should do this some time in your 8th month so that you'll be ready in case the baby comes early.) But I couldn't even bring myself to put it in the car yet because I don't want people to think I'm totally weird when I'm driving around with an empty carseat in my car and very obviously still have at least a month or so to go before the baby gets here.

We have our first prenatal class tonight. I'm looking forward to it. I'm also hoping it will help me be less anxious about the actual labor and delivery because right now I am totally freaking out. Everyone I've talked to says "You'll be fine. You'll do great. It's not so bad." etc but I think it's a conspiracy. How in the holy heck can pushing something that big out of somewhere so small be "not that bad"? You must truly forget the pain of childbirth after seeing your baby because I'm totally not sold on the idea that it's a piece of cake. Yes, I am positively having an epidural. And whatever else they'd like to give me would be fine too.

See? I told you I was freaking out. Not every day. Just mainly the ones that end in -y. :)